a) I don't need a guy to keep my happy and i know that. I'm perfectly fine the way I am and if they can't see that it's not my problem nor should i worry about it.
b) I will never pick up drugs I don't need to and if people can't accept me for my decision (which they can and they respect me for it) then they can go climb a tree (new favorite saying)
c) I'm still not exactly happy with myself but I know I'm a semi-good person and i'm doing the best I can and that's all that matters
So for now I'm going to stick with that and maybe things will get better. Thanks to all who responded you did make me feel a little better.